Snow, Rain, Heat, and Gloom of Night

These harsh elements can do nothing to keep US postal workers "from the swift completion of their appointed rounds". Unfortunately, a slight drizzle, a soft breeze, or even an unexpectedly warm day in December would be enough to deter French postal workers from doing their jobs.

I recently made an online purchase -- yes, Virginia, there is e-commerce in France -- but alas the book did not fit the mailbox in my apartment building. So, the letter carrier (or "facteur") left me a note to collect it at the post office (or "La Poste").

There is a list of reasons on the note why the delivery could not be made. The reason selected -- the first one on the list -- was that the address on the package was incomplete, so the facteur did not know where to deliver the package. Hold on -- he could not find my mailbox when he had the package in hand, but miraculously figured it out when he put the package down and started to fill out the note for me? Of course not! The facteur just cannot be bothered to spend time choosing between 5 reasons (plus "Other"). It would make more sense if La Poste replaced the six choices with a single one that reads, "Oh, who knows, who cares? Just come collect the stupid thing before one of our light-fingered employees decides to make off with it." Harsh, but much more believable!

The note said I could pick up my package after 9am the following day. That's quite interesting, considering my local branch of La Poste opens at 9.30am. But I figured that gives them 30 extra minutes to ensure my package is ready for delivery... well, pick-up. So, I arrived promptly this morning at 9.35am -- this is the week between Christmas and New Year's, so I don't have to rush to work.

I presented my note with a cheery "Bonjour, madame!" and a smile. She grunted back, "euh, ouais, bonjour" and put her reading glasses on. She handed the note back to me with a sigh -- a normal, apathetic one, not a heavy, "I'm pissed off at you" one -- and said, "I'm sorry sir, but this package won't be here before noon today."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I apologised for following instructions, "I thought it might be here by now since the note says 9am, which was 40 minutes ago."

She peered disinterestedly at me over her half-glasses and said, "Yes, but 9am really means noon."

"Well, then, why not just put noon on the note and avoid confusion?" I smiled and shrugged my shoulders, trying to show her that this seemed like a silly system, but that I would never question her authority.

By this time, I could tell she wanted no more of me, as she sighed heavily, "Because, monsieur, noon means 3pm."

Defeated, I smiled, nodded, took my note and said, "Merci, madame. I will see you tomorrow then."

I just hope it doesn't snow tomorrow.